I would climb the walls

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."
The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that, my dear?" she asked.
The little boy told his grandmother, "I heard Daddy tell Mommy that he would climb the walls if you come to visit us again."

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10 Customers like you

Tony owns a local car repair garage. One day, Martin, one of his customers, arrives to pick up his car. Tony goes over to him, shakes his hand and says, "I'd just like to say thanks for your patronage. I wish I had 10 customers like you." "Wow! It's nice to hear you say that," says Martin, "but why are you thanking me? You know I always argue with your prices and I always complain about the work you do on my car." "I know," says Harry, "but I'd still like 10 customers like you - the trouble is I have at least 50 like you."

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Dear bank

Dear bank, one of my checks were returned to me and stamped ‘insufficient funds'   in view of current developments, does that refer to me or to you?

Have a nice week-end every one!

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Drink heavily & Recycle Here's why...

Courtesy of C-Monster  

If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago, you would have $49 left.

With Fannie Mae you would have $2.50 left of the original $1,000.

With AIG, you would have less than $15 left.

BUT, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drunk all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214 cash.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

Have a nice week-end every one!

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Paying in advance

Abe is in a terrible state and goes to see Dr. Myers, his psychiatrist.
"Doctor, I need your help in a big way. I feel very suicidal. What should I do?"
Doctor Myers replies, "You must pay me in advance."

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